I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
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