Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it was like eating out sand paper
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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