I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
