The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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