She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
