how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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