She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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