I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
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You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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