My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
