I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
