we have officially lost it.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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