my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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