Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
do herpes really smell.
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Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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