Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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