WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
