So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
