Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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