i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
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My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
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its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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