you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize