a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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