What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
