Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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