i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
