We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
