I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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