Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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