oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize