if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
