She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
