i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
