the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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