I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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