Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
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Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
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I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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