You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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