No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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