Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
