He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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