about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
