i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
