she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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