Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
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you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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