feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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