ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
