I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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