Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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