Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
