Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
