you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He told me they were just razor bumps!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We left an ass print on the piano.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
