I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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