Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
