Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize