I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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