just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
