tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
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so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
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I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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