Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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