i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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