I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
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