She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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