I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
