why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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