Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
